Category Archives: Human disaster

Human Disaster

If you got the Parks and Rec reference, I ❤ you.

I’ve never been the most graceful person in existence. I’m quite athletic and I have great hand eye/foot coordination. I can juggle, I can ride (and actually own) a unicycle, it took me under 2 minutes to get comfortable on Chinese stilt,

but if there’s a patch of uneven sidewalk, I will trip on it. Actually, let’s just think back to the New Year when I tripped over a vacuum cord and it led to this.

This was definitely not an isolated incident. When I was 6 I tried to do a cartwheel onto a futon bed and missed, and ended up falling into our dog Suni.

I hit my ankle on her tooth and tore a ligament. So graceful.

But lately it’s been worse. If you have a beverage near you be careful, I’m likely to knock it over. Examples- 1) during my last Anatomy and Physiology test, which is a class of about 250 in a giant lecture hall with long skinny tables, I got up after finishing, put my messenger bag over my shoulder and tried to exit my row, except that some girl wouldn’t scoot her chair in and I tried to step over/around her and my bag knocked into some guy’s can of coffee (who drinks coffee out of a can?!) and it spilled all over his test and scantron. I had to drop all of my stuff and run to the bathroom to get paper towels. When I came back my teacher was standing over the mess and when he found out I caused it, he just laughed and walked away. Yes, that is the same teacher who told me I could pass as anemic in front of the whole class.

It gets better. 2) Same teacher, this time in his office. I was drinking a smoothie and somehow managed to spill it all over my skirt. He told me I had a drinking problem. He must think I’m nuts. I wonder if I should ask him for a letter of rec.

3) This one wasn’t my fault. I had a tumbler full of tea sitting under my desk with the lid not fully closed and some girl sat down in the desk next to me and proceeded to swing her bag across the floor knocking over my tea. She said sorry and then just sat there. At least when I know people’s stuff over I go get them paper towels. And new tests. And apologize about 17 times, even if it’s to the super annoying guy who always wears those ridiculous toe shoes and freaks out in open lab when there are too many people.

Luckily this ridiculousness hasn’t affected my running. In fact, this week of running has been awesome and I’ve been on a constant runner’s high. Way better than any other high I’ve ever experienced. Though if it gets any better/worse, I may have to call my 2 year old self for help.

I love old pictures and scanners.